Sunday, January 11, 2015

Knox's Birth Story

I wish I could explain how nervous I was the day before Knox was born.
I don't think I slept at all that night.

Really I don't think I slept for days before that.
It wasn't just the giving birth part that kept me up all night. I was so unbelievably scared to bring another human into this world.

All I have wanted for almost three years now was to have another Grant.

To have another little person to chase around that looks ridiculously similar to his daddy, but tiny features of my own that, of course, only I recognize.

The day finally came and I had cold feet. Like serious cold feet.
I asked Jay numerous times if we made the right decision to have another baby. I didn't know how it would affect our relationship. I didn't know if I would show Grant less attention. I wasn't sure if bringing a whole new human into this world would completely turn our routine, happy family up side down.

I'm sure these were normal feelings right before something life changing happens.                   
If not, I'll only feel like the worst mother ever.

We went to the hospital at 5:30 AM and checked in. 

The night nurse was absolutely amazing. Actually, every nurse I had at River Oaks was amazing. The only bad experience I had was when a student nurse attempted to start my IV. That was extremely painful.
 But, hey, everyone has to learn.

That makes me think of the first time I started an IV....Terrible...My poor mama...Blood everywhere.

Anywho, when I checked in to the hospital I was already 4cm. They started the pitocin. About 1.5 hours later I was 7 cm. Luckily, I had an epidural soon after I checked in so the only thing I was focused on was Jay.

 I remember I was so mad at him because I was starving and instead of suffering with me, he went to the cafeteria and had the biggest and best breakfast. Then he came back up to the room to his starving, laboring wife and had the nerve to brag about it. Ugh.
He also slept. He slept for the first 2.5 hours.

At about 10:00 I started having extreme pains in the lower left side of my stomach. I buzzed my nurse in and she checked. She decided it was "time to have a baby."
The whole delivery process was quite comical. Jay had the nurses laughing the entire time.
At exactly 10:10 I had this tiny 8lb 10 oz baby sitting on my chest.

The biggest memory I have etched in my mind was Jay's reaction to Knox. I will forever remember the way he turned into goo. 
He used the sweetest tone of voice I have ever heard and said "hey darling" to that sweet baby.

It was the sweetest, proudest moments of my life.
I made/grew that little human that he was/is in complete love with.
I grew our first little human too, but we were both so young at the time. Neither one of us realized when Grant was born how amazing it was to become a parent. Over the last 7 years Grant has shown us what it means to love something unconditionally with absolutely no barriers. He has brought so much happiness into our lives.

So when Knox was born, we both knew how extremely blessed we were.

Jay hogging our baby from me was one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I asked him to return the little human back to me. The nurses sided with Jay and I couldn't move my legs so I just sat and watched him stare at Knox while he held him. 
It only lasted a few minutes before my family came rushing in, but I will always remember the way he looked at Knox that first day.

The next few days went by extremely fast. All I remember is not being able to sleep in the hospital. I stayed up most of the night thinking about how thankful I was for Jay, Grant and Knox.

When we made it home, I was fully prepared to handle the baby blues. I knew it was coming. I prepared Jay for the worst just in case. I knew I was going to have it because I get the blues after holidays and after vacations and after birthday parties. I could only imagine what they would be like after having Knox.

I never got them though. I was so thankful and excited for everything we have and everything to come. I only cried once when we first made it home.
I sat in the rocking chair holding my smallest baby and cried. I didn't really feel sad. I just felt like Knox wasn't close enough. I was holding the precious little boy that I have had with me for the last 9 months, but I still felt like it wasn't enough.
I don't think I put him down for the whole first month.

He's so perfect. Absolutely perfect.

He is almost two months old now. I can't remember life without him. It's hard to picture him not there just a couple of months ago. It feels like he's always been with us. Like we've always known him.
Every fear I had the days leading up to the delivery are gone.
Knox fits perfectly into our family. I can't help but stare at him throughout the day. I'm so proud of him.
Sometimes before we tuck Grant in bed, we'll all just look at him and watch his little facial expressions while he sleeps.

It's a beautiful thing to see.
It's crazy to read back to my first blog post a little over a year ago. I was so persistent and had so much hope on getting pregnant. I am so glad for every step and decision we made along the way that brought my Knox into the world.
I'm so thankful for both of my boys. I feel so complete now.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Third trimester update!


I am in my third trimester...Already! 

This pregnancy has flown by. I cannot believe we are getting close to the finish line.

SO close and so fast.

With Grant it felt like I was pregnant for years and years.
Grant's pregnancy was also a breeze.
With this one I have had every pregnancy symptom you could possibly imagine. Every.Single.Symptom. You name it, I've had it this time around.
Contrary to what Jay thinks, I am not being dramatic this pregnancy.
I actually do have terrible left hip pain that requires me to be carried everywhere. 
If I want to be carried from the living room to the bedroom at night, I feel as if that is a totally realistic request due to the fact I am about to have his second son and give him one of the greatest gifts ever.
What will it hurt to carry me around the house or change me into my pajamas while I lie there as if I am lifeless and can't help myself.
I may be milking it a tiny bit, but he knew what he was getting himself into from the beginning.
I've also noticed I have become nosier this pregnancy.
I've never heard that to be a pregnancy symptom, but I have been so nosey lately.
Fishing for information before I even realize what I'm doing or people watching while I wait in the car (hip pain, remember?) at the grocery store.
I hope this goes away after I deliver.
So far I haven't been able to control what I buy for Knox.
I do believe this is another made-up pregnancy symptom as well. He has absolutely everything you could possibly think of...except... the essentials you would actually need to have for a newborn. I will get around to that, but spending money on one of those nose bulbs or wash rags feels like spending money on bills.
Where is the fun in that?
The great thing about having a 4 month old niece is the fact that I get to test out all of my baby products on her. 

If she doesn't like them, I return them.
So far here is a review on some of my favorites:
1.) MamaRoo

This little machine has been absolutely wonderful since I brought it home. I have used it for me and I have used it on Alizah. For me, I love the white noise sounds it makes. I could go to sleep in no time listening to that. For Alizah she will sit in that little swing and go straight to sleep every.single.time. I put her in it.

 I will have to figure out how to prevent that from happening with Knox. I am thinking I will only want him to sleep/nap in his crib, but we will see how that turns out when he gets here.
 Anyway, the MamaRoo was well worth the money and I wouldn't hesitate to buy it again.
2.) Podee Hands Free Baby Bottle System

Alizah seemed to really enjoy this too. The only problem I had was trying to set it up and connect all of the tubes. You may need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out...or a pest control man. Jay knew exactly how to do it. From what I understand it helps prevent colic because the baby is sitting up and the tube goes to the bottom of the bottle. 
I don't know how true this is, but if it is true than it's definitely a positive.
Side note: This will NOT replace me actually feeding my sweet boy. This little handy dandy invention will simply make life easier for all involved on long trips and at times when I am by self and can't stop to feed him. He will in no way be neglected or lack in receiving any attention from me or his daddy.
3.) Caterpillar Suit

I am giving a review on this because I love it. I don't know why I have purchased so many animal/insect outfits for Knox, but for whatever reason dressing him up as a fox, bear or a caterpillar has been on my to do list.
Maybe another made up symptom...
4.) Phil & Ted's Jogging stroller

I love this stroller.
It is the Cadillac of strollers if you ask me. I found an ahhhhhmaaazzzing deal on this one and I pushed it around the house for the first two hours after I bought it. Alizah seemed to not like it, but I think she was just grumpy that night.
I refuse to return this gem.
5.) French Stripe Skip Hop diaper bag

I haven't tested thisout yet. I am just so excited about this diaper bag I decided to show it off. I could not decide if I wanted to get a diaper bag that would match most of my outfits or a diaper bag that was more boy-ish for Knox. I found one that would match most of my outfits, but felt really guilty about how girly it looked and ended up giving it to my sister. 
But THIS diaper bag is perfect for both of us.
When this came in the mail, I wore it around my house for a while acting out different scenarios when I will need to use it...while Jay stared at me like I was crazy.
6.) Combi Shuttle Infant Car seat

I was stuck on whether or not I should buy an infant car seat or a convertible car seat. I decided on the infant car seat for now. I'm thinking it will be easier getting a newborn in and out of my SUV using one of these. I also love the bar at the foot of the seat. My brother-in-law, Casey, said the bar was in the way, but he is clearly jealous of my car seat.
This car seat has been set up in my car since it came in the mail. Call me crazy, but I am just too excited about all of this.
 We waited a long, long, long time to be able to do all of these things and I am taking full advantage of every minute.
I'm not really sure how much I will like any of this stuff when I use it for Knox, but for the niece it has worked wonderfully.

I will give real reviews when I actually get to really use them.

Now for an update on the actual pregnancy:
How far along? 29 weeks 2 days
Days til due date? 77!
Total Weight gain? 9 lbs.
With Grant I gained a lotttttt more. I am trying my best to watch what I eat, but I am not going to lie... fried spicy chicken has been a terrible,terrible weakness of mine lately.
Maternity Clothes? I finally caved and bought some maternity jeans. I always thought maternity jeans looked too "mom-ish" but I actually found a really cute pair of skinny jeans that I may even wear after Knox.
They are seriously the best things ever.
Sleep? Ugh. What sleep? I have not slept a full night in so long.
Jay swears he gets up more than me throughout the night. He says that every time he gets up I am sound to sleep. I made him keep a tally last night on the counter top for each time he got up. I did the same. I got up 6 times to pee and he got up twice.
Clearly I won that argument.
Stretch marks? None yet... Other than the few I had from Grant.
Best Moment this week? Watching Jay put in the car seat.
I still cannot believe we have made a little human that will be riding in that.
So weird.
Miss anything? Jumping on the trampoline with Grant. I'll also miss riding fair rides this year:(
I did not get to ride any last year either because I was in that "two week wait" and was convinced riding fair rides would mess up the whole process. I also miss sleep.
I miss sleep the most.
Movement? So.much.movement. I can be sitting completely still and it feels like someone is jumping on a trampoline or running a marathon in my stomach. I feel like everyone else can see it.
Kind of embarrassing sometimes....
Food cravings: Spicy fried chicken and oreos. I will only allow myself to eat one or two oreos at a time though. I had my first real emotional experience the last time I ate oreos. I knew I had two left.
I ate one and was so excited about eating that last one. When I went to grab it, it was gone.
Someone ate my oreos.
I started to tear up about it because I could not believe Jay would eat my oreos when he knows how I feel about them.
He promised on everything that we own that he didn't eat it.
I still don't know if I fully believe him. I have trust issues with him when it comes to food.
His version of the story is this: "I walked into the room and Kylie was sitting on the bed crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I ate all of my oreos.""
We both know he ate my oreos, but whatev. I refuse to argue about it.
Showing? Yep. Officially showing. Sometimes I feel like a cow with utters and other times I do not.

I cannot believe we are so close to the finish line.
  Grant has been handling the whole thing like the great big brother I know he will be. He is so excited about teaching Knox how to play baseball and how to hunt for "bad guys."
I am so excited about adding this little boy into our lives.
Grant fit so perfectly into our family from the time we had him.
I can only imagine Knox will be the same way.
I can't wait to see what type of little person he will be. I imagine he will look similar to his daddy.
I imagine his personality will be similar to his daddy too.  That's what  I am hoping anyway.
I hope he has his dads wittiness and patience. I hope he has my ability to clean. Kidding. Kind of...
I hope he has my determination to get things done.
But however he turns out or whatever type of person he chooses to be will be okay with me.
The amount of love we have for him already is indescribable.
Having the opportunity to bring another person in this world is one of our greatest accomplishments.
I absolutely cannot wait to see what this new chapter of our lives has in store for us.


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Better late than never!

I haven't updated on the whole pregnancy thing in a while for two reasons:

1.) Morning sickness and fatigue

2.) Grant's life has been keeping me busier than I could have ever imagined a 7 year old life could be.

I'm officially in the second trimester!!

The miscarriage rate has dropped tremendously. Not that I was ever really at risk for miscarriage, but after announcing I was pregnant I seem to have been told of more sudden miscarriage stories from friends than positive outcome stories. Scary. I'm not going to lie, with each miscarriage story my symptom spotting became worse and worse. I would type in each symptom on google and discover that the baby and I were dying from some tragic diagnosis of which I've never heard of prior to being pregnant.

Don't use google while you are pregnant.

Anywho, first and foremost... Morning sickness. Really? Why is this even necessary?? I've googled the reasons and the possible reasons and no one can come up with a logical explanation of why this happens. I think there were whole days were I did not eat a thing and what did that cute husband of mine do? He just kept eating and dragging me to every steak house we passed by. I think the daddy should have to suffer in some sort of way. I'm not complaining about being pregnant. Really. I'm not. I have never been so excited about something in my whole life, but I just feel like Jay should have to suffer.

If he continues to force me to eat places I do not want to eat I will be the one to make him suffer.

I tried ginger ale, sprite, saltines, Townhouse crackers, Zofran, Reglan, and Cheetos.

The Cheetos were Grant's suggestion...

The only thing that kept me alive during the first trimester was:


My Dr. thought that was weird. 
I did too, but hey it was the only thing I could keep down.

Not only did I have strong aversions to foods that I normally would LOVE to eat,
I also would get extremely nauseated around certain things.

Such as:

1.) Walmart.
I just recently began grocery shopping again. It took me a good two months to be able to go completely through with it. Call me dramatic, but every time I would think about Walmart I would gag.
Not kidding.
Jay would do the grocery shopping and let me tell you,
the healthy snacks and weird green things he would come home with were NOT cutting it.
I ended up going with him one night.

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

I gagged through every aisle.
I finally just ran (literally ran) through the aisles grabbing things I thought I may be able to eat and then dashed (literally dashed) to my car before we made it to the meat section.
I couldn't handle meat.
Sick. Gross. Gag.

2.) Jay.

This is a hard one to explain.

He made me nauseous.
More so than Walmart or steaks with mushrooms.

Every morning he would try to hug me.
Every morning I would have to dodge it or I would go all morning sick on him.

I don't know what it was about him that made me feel that way.
When I was pregnant with Grant, the smell of his clothes made me nauseated.
This time it was just Jay in general.

I think it's hilarious.
I'm sure he felt neglected at times, but that's better than what could have happen had he come closer than 2 feet from me.

From what I've read/heard/researched it should have slacked off mostly by the 13th week, but I still get nauseated in the afternoons.
It's definitely manageable at this point. I guess that means everything is cooking right along.

My sister had her baby!

Alizah Rose.

Precious, chubby cheeked little girl.
From the moment I saw her, I was in complete love.

Anyway, here is an update on the pregnancy thus far!

Total weight gained: 2 lbs

Maternity clothes: Not yet...I've started shopping for them.
So they are in my closet for when I need them.

Stretch Marks: None yet!! I have a few from Grant, but I have been trying the cocoa butter and Amilactin Therapy cream this time around. My sister used the cocoa butter throughout her pregnancy and did not get ONE stretch mark.
Fingers crossed!

Sleep: Pretty good. I never realized how annoying Restless Leg Syndrome really could be until recently. My poor patients. I have so many that have chronic RLS.
Ugh. Turrible. Just tuurrrible.

Miss Anything: Not really. I do miss something I've never actually had before. I have never had a Bloody Mary, but for whatever reason I am dying to have one.
Of course I would never while I'm growing this precious boy, but that doesn't take the craving away.

Ahh! I want it!

Cravings: Milk. Milk. Milk. When I say we have gone through a gallon a day. I am not kidding. I just recently switched to almond milk though.
I figured that would be less fat and calories.
Symptoms: Things are progressing as expected! I'll spare all the details.

Belly button: In
Mood: Great! I'm so excited about baby Knox. I cannot put it into words. I have waited for this sweet child for two years. Thankful is my mood. I'll get into the whole gender part of it shortly.

Looking forward to: The next ultrasound! It's the anatomy ultrasound. I cannot wait to see that little man again. Jay and Grant will be going too so I'm pretty excited about spending the day with them.

Exercise: The elliptical. My Dr. said there are too many benefits to name on exercising while pregnant. SO I shall continue on my elliptical until my stomach hits the handlebars.

Now on to the big news!
We're officially expecting another precious boy!!
(Picture from 14 weeks)

I'm excited. Really. I am.
I'm not going to lie though.
I was 75% hoping it would be a girl.

For a few reasons...
This will probably be our last so I was hoping for a chance to have a sidekick on shopping trips.
I suppose that's why I have my little niece now. I can bring her along for those trips. 
Also, I was so ready for dance recitals and pink things.
But as the days have passed and the more I have thought about it I am so excited to do the whole super hero phase again.

 I can't wait to watch Tball games and I can't wait to see the three of them wrestling on the trampoline.

On the other hand, that's three against one.
 Jay and Grant gang up on me as it is. Let me accidentally turn on a "girly" song in the car...They both start grunting and complaining. It's like they are trying to prove their manhood or something.

They're both weird.

Jay is beyond thrilled. He is walking around the house with his chest puffed out. I think he feels more manly now that he has two boys.
It really hit me when I was driving home last night, I had Grant and his buddy in my backseat after a baseball game. We were listening to "We are the Champions" celebrating our latest win.

We listen to "We Will Rock You" with the sunroof open and the windows down on the way to the games just to set the mood and to get them ready, but on the way home we always listen to "We are the Champions." 
That is, if we win.
We lost our last baseball tournament.


This picture was when we made it home. Of course, I had to snap a picture of them both crying. It was too cute not to have a memory of.

I'm getting off subject.

What I was trying to say is that I am so excited to listen to "We Will Rock You" on the way to Knox's games. I cannot wait to argue with a little four year old about when it is appropriate to wear the Batman cape and when it is not. 
I'm so excited about having that "rivalry" against me and my boys on whether or not girls are better than boys.

 I enjoy every minute of every day with the two I have now. I cannot imagine us being any happier than we are right now.
 Of course, we have our ups and downs just like normal families, but when I look at all I have I am beyond thankful. What more could I ask for? I have the perfect little house for two boys. There is plenty of room for them to run and never have to worry about being bothered.

I have a job working with some of the sweetest people ever....sometimes. I have a husband that is not too bad on the eyes and can charm me into anything with his wittiness and smile. I have a son that looks identical to his daddy. He adores me and treats me just as his daddy does.

 I have another son on the way who I'm sure will start out as a mama's boy, but quickly follow in his brother's foot steps and become a daddy's boy.

I could not ask for anything more than what I have. I am forever thankful. I haven't always done things right. I have no idea why I ended up with this life, but I am thankful every single day that I did.

Also! I always love hearing your thoughts and advice esp from all the mamas out there!
I haven't done this newborn thing in almost a decade!
Thanks for reading my blog and letting me ramble on and on and on and use bad punctuation and abuse commas.